Experts` Commentaries Sep 23, 2021

Why is it so important to understand your life scenario?

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Why is it so important to understand your life scenario?
A script is like a rail or a groove, a path prescribed in our nervous and endocrine systems, which is so difficult to jump off that it takes years of therapy.

About 10% of the already passed life, to be exact. Because even with a full and clear understanding of our script, we have a very little opportunity to change it. Of all the 360 ​​degrees of the horizon of possibilities, only 1-2 degrees are available to us at each moment of making a choice.

The next problem after understanding the concept is that the scenario itself can be quite negative. Moreover, in most cases this is exactly how it is. About 10 to 20% of us live by the scenario of a Non-winner, when we almost get to the goal, but then something happens and we obtain only the 2-nd or 3-rd place. Letting the prize out of hand. Not reaching just quite a bit. “I tried very hard, but it didn't work out”.  

Much more people are living by the Loser or Victim scenario. And these are not offensive labels spat out from above by the Winners, who constitute about 1% of the population. These are completely scientific terms from the science of scenario analysis. It might seem like no chance, bad luck, the whole world is against me, cruel fate and so on. But in reality, it is the scenario inherited by a person from their older relatives.

 

How so? After all, with our heads and hearts, we want only the best for ourselves and our children. And not only that, we don’t mind heaven in general for everyone. People are actually quite kind and welcoming. So why do we do all the bullshit to ourselves? The answer is very hard to believe, even when you understand how it works, and what it really is. Too painful, too stupid.

 

The next problem is to soak it all up and apply to yourself. But after the classic circle of shock, denial, resentment, anger, shame, pity, guilt and forgiveness you can roll up your sleeves and change the destructive program to a constructive one.

 

Слишком обидно, слишком тупо.
If this is not done, life will continue the same way, no matter what variables you substitute into the initially set equation. The formula just works and that's it. In order to deal with this difficult question, you need to read the book "What do you do after you say hello?" written by Eric Berne. This is not an easy book, but mostly due to the resistance of our entire being to raising the curtain over all these unsightly mechanics. Yet slow and hard is better than nothing.  
You can start by simply observing yourself and those you know well. Here are the tools for defining your scenario in 3 easy steps:  

1) What did your ancestors die from, including uncles, second cousins, grand-nephews, and even husbands of great-grandmothers’ sisters? This should be attributed not to DNA, but to the actions of these people. Compare their illnesses and deaths with their ways of life, their characters. Notice the patterns and repetitions.

2) What are your favorite fairy tales, movies, games, novels? What characters do you associate with yourself, your parents, friends, spouses, children? Compare these plots with your real life.

3) What repetitions do you notice in your life? Big and small circles of life, traps, emotional situations, dreams, sex?

The main task is to discern the repeating elements and to understand the sequence of feelings and reactions. For example, resentment - irritation - anger - guilt - shame - repentance - peace. As soon as previously invisible repetitions are brought to light, it will no longer be possible to unsee them. This does not mean that you will stop doing that, oh no. There is still a lot of work, but this is the foundation, the beginning.  
Try to engage in such analysis of yourself, people like you, as well as all kinds of losers, victims, non-winners and winners. Notice the similarities and differences. Improve this skill, train your neural network to such activities. Read Eric Berne.

And when you’re ready to change something, take on the next tool: reprogramming with the help of your parents. Ask me how in the comments or PM.

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