How to manage your dark side?

psychologist, therapist, counselor, coach, lecturer, author of method, school and book “Zen-Psychology”

Andrey Yagodzinsky
Number of posts: 24
psychologist, therapist, counselor, coach, lecturer, author of method, school and book “Zen-Psychology”
FB account: https://www.facebook.com/YagaZen/

The original meaning of the word “schizophrenia” is “schist”, that is, “schism” in Greek.

And it was applied along with idiocy, cretinism, moronism and other offensive nowadays words directly to personality disorders. However, due to the very vivid manifestations of the second, third or some other personality number, this word began to be used to denote strange behavior, hallucinations, obsessions, and so on. And if we let the steam down a little, then each of us is to some extent a schizophrenic, a narcissist and a paranoid. There is nothing to be ashamed of

We can notice this in ourselves, as well as in others, which will greatly help us recognize deceptions and threats, and at the same time become more holistic. After all, our Shadow is also us. And if you turn a blind eye to it, be ashamed of it, argue, fight and ignore it, your Shadow will only be more difficult to deal with. Please pretend for the society that you are quite monotonous and predictable, but you definitely shouldn't lie to yourself.

The second obvious option is sudden emotional outbursts. Of course, there is always a trigger and it is most likely just the last drop of overflowing patience. But the essence is in the Shadow. If we suppress emotions that we consider unacceptable, shameful and generally “bad”, then they do not disappear anywhere, but simply accumulate, waiting for the window of opportunity. And this moment usually comes exactly when we are tense and already having a hard time.

The third manifestation is a desperate denial of something. We do not accept in others what we do not allow ourselves. It doesn't matter if we want it or not, we just don't allow it. For example, rather abstract things, like political, religious, musical or fashionable predilections, some scientific or anti-scientific ideas. This is a sure sign of a suppressed Shadow.

Поскольку приятности обычно так или иначе запрещены, этот сладкий плод хочется сорвать особенно сильно. Вот эта самая невыносимость и создает такой эффект.

Option 5: "Oh, something came over me, I don't even know what, I'm sorry!" - such random behavior is a bell alarm. The trick is that nobody blames the person, but quite the opposite: the person comes out, showing their chaotic inner world. This is what he or she really is. Not all the time, not only now, but there is such an option. The more often this happens, the more the person has suppressed their dark tension.

The sixth manifestation of the Shadow is the idealization of all sorts of creepy undertakings. Like, “we will destroy the whole world of violence to the ground, and then, we will build our own, we will build a new world!” This, of course, is not necessarily about revolution, although you can be sure that all people who come to the risky demonstration are really eager to throw stones at someone. For example, angry and armed men in black. However, much more often these are some kind of scams and business enterprises, which stink a mile away. Usually this kind of person is so eager to go through this sad story that they come up with a truly sacred meaning for it.

The easiest way to see the Shadow is through hatred or outright rejection. Moreover, not only and not so much someone else's as their own. Remember the notorious invisible log in own eye? So, a mirror is required. If you feel a sharp rejection in relation to something or someone, if you see how someone very strongly and unambiguously does not accept something, then this is the very signal. Here it is - the Shadow.

What can we do about it? Having recognized someone else's Shadow, understand that the person is scared, disappointed or offended, that they suppress it and do not realize that all this is not for real. Relax and calmly observe, do not get fooled by the above 7 manipulations. Read between the lines and leave, or manipulate the person yourself, because now you know where you really need to click. If you recognize your own Shadow, then instead of rejection, start making friends with it. Let yourself be natural and express your feelings in a direct, non-veiled way. In a fairly short time, you will be able to integrate your Shadow into yourself quite officially, thereby gaining integrity. After that, there will be no division any more, just as there will be no unnecessary tension.

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